What I've Learned From Coaching Writers

If there is one thing I have learned from coaching writers for the past 5 years, the thing I know for sure, is that writers really do need a community and a coach in order to thrive and deliver their best work.

And I say this not because I am a coach looking to sell my services, I say it because it's true. The writing journey is simply too fraught with obstacles (internal/external/societal), to go it alone.

If you try to go it alone, especially when writing those deeply personal and important stories, the kind that can take years to execute properly, the odds are high that one or all of these things will happen:

• You'll quit when the going gets rough (which it will) and settle for all manner of excuses as to why you couldn't finish.

• You'll power through and deliver something that is a shell of what it could be, because "it's taking too long" and the ego's need for completion becomes more important than your inner writer's need to take your time and get it right.

• You'll miss out on all the joy, camaraderie and cross collaboration that always happens when in community with the only people who could possibly understand this weird ass journey you're on: other writers.

• You run the risk of feeling profoundly lonely because you actually are alone with the part of your life that is likely most meaningful to you. There is no one who properly understands your process and how to respond to it: the excitement of your random aha, or the frustration of being stuck in the question.

• You'll lack the network, relationships and support you'll need (from those who have been there and know you as a writer) when its time to start putting your work out there into the world.

I know this because there was a time when I was one of those writers who tried to go it alone, and I experienced every last one of those things.

I wish someone could have properly explained to me, back then, how much better it would be, and how much better of a writer I would be, if I hadn't tried to go it alone.

The thing is, we writers all go through the same things:

• We all have to start out running on faith, hoping the story (or Memoir) we're putting inordinate amounts of our hearts and time into, is going to be "worth it."

• We all have to manage our inner critics that like to constantly tell us we are kidding ourselves and all our ideas suck, while still challenging ourselves to go deeper. Get more imaginative. Add more layers.

• We all have to fight the urge to speed ourselves through the process merely to prove to others we can do it, which deep down we know is not the point.

• We all have to juggle busy lives where it seems like everything is trying to get in the way, forcing us to develop a level of self discipline and commitment few even bother to impose on themselves. But we must or our stories will never come to be.

• We all have to stay committed to our craft, long before we will ever see any external results or proof, in the form of completion, publishing, money etc.

• We all have to challenge ourselves to eventually get good at self-promotion (even us introverts) if we ever want external audiences to read our work.

• We all have to learn how to deal gracefully with rejection, because there is no such thing as being everybody's cup of tea and the more original you are (which is a good thing), the harder time you might have (Harry Potter was rejected by 29 publishers).

• And many of us have to learn how to deal with the doubters living right inside of our homes. The well-meaning, and not-so-well-meaning, sorts who are afraid of your writing dreams for all manner of reasons that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own worries.

If the writer's path does not require a coach and a community to help keep you on track, and recommitting to yourself, I don't know what does.

Athletes wouldn't dream of pursuing their goals without a team and a coach, because they know its too hard to get to where they want to go on their own. So why should writers?

If you've been going it alone and want to change that, I hope you'll consider joining the community that me and my partner, Kelly Carlin-McCall, are forming this year.

We've recently merged our businesses and are changing things up. We, too, are writers with projects we want to work on this year, and have decided that we want to invite a group of kick ass writers to join us on the journey.

The idea is to build a writing community where we can all bond and grow together. A place far away from the critics of the world, where we can get messy, stop worrying so much about product, and give ourselves permission to really dive into process. A creative community that enjoys lifting each other up.

Some will just need the community aspect to keep them going and connected and will join us at the most basic level, participating in our Daily Practice (to make sure they get their hour of writing in every day) and our free community workshops where they get some inspiration and the opportunity to build relationships with other writers.

Some have a story they are hungry to write to the absolute best of their ability, and they'll choose to be part of our year long coaching programs, where they will work closely with Kelly and I and their small cohorts of new best writer friends, as they go through all the steps of the process, and all the shit that gets in the way, together.

And some will have an even greater urgency to not only get that story written to the best of their ability, but to also get themselves ready (mind, body and spirit) to be the best ambassador of their work they can be, so they can get their voice out into the world, fast. And for those they'll work even more closely with Kelly and I inside our development deal program.

All this to say there are many ways to be in community with other writers and get the support you need. Organize a group of your friends to meet on Zoom each week. Or come jump into our community. You're welcome to jump in our free events or dive in the deep end with some of our coaching programs. Whatever it is that would most suit your needs. Just don't go it alone.

And if you need a little kick start come join us for upcoming FREE series. 8 days of talks and Q&A's with Kelly and I. Click HERE to learn more and register.